Contrary to your assertions, Jesus never commented on the scenario of a wife in an abusive relationship. He merely commented that adultery was the only grounds for divorce. If you examine his teachings more closely, he often conveyed the idea that preserving life was more important than obeying the letter of the law i. It does not keep account of the injury. It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are [gifts of] prophesying, they will be done away with; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will be done away with.
The advise worked for me.
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People can change and nothing is imposible with the amaizing God we serve. I honestly have goosebumps going through the posts here after taking this survey. I have horrible memories of sitting with two elders and my abusive now ex husband. I can remember reading the verses that said a man should love his wife as he does his own body, to cherish her. Why did the elders omit this from our discussion? They said a few sentences to my husband — with no Bible references.
I got the complete lecture!! I will always believe in the golden rule. Consider this — it would be unthinkable, impossible for Jesus to hurt any of his family members or close friends — or anyone for that matter. Why can not purported Christian men follow this example? No one is perfect here, of course. We are admonished to treat our bodies with respect. To allow someone to abuse us in my opinion is going against a sacred directive… I could go on and on….
Thank you so very, very much for calling attention to this very important. I know this by how my sons turned out… almost in tears here…happy this is here, but hurting so much still, from what I went through. I became a true believer. Finally I experienced that moment of clarity and knew I was finished with the union from that point it took 3years to be free and then another 3 to get free from witness world. I do not lay all the blame for my situation on the WTS. In my opinion though, any religious group that actively supports a woman taking a beating because it might cause her husband to convert does not come from god.
And that the GB pick and choose which extra-biblical dogma to follow- and that they do not follow Jesus and be kind. Instead it seems that they are hardline, unkind, unfeeling and hyper-pharisaical. Their own actions condemn them.
What Are Traumatic Bonds?
What seems to be truly tragic is all the lives that the WTS taliban-like policy impacts. Certainly, their could be millions of families that are suffering because the WTS tacitly approves of men hitting women. Sometimes, I wish there was a god who cared about the sovereignty of his name and this god would destroy the WTS. So please ask yourself if Jesus would want this for any of his followers, especially innocent children???!!! Thank you how wonderful to hear from a woman who has been there I only wished my own mom had the faith to speak out as you have.
Be very afraid to give out marriage advice. This she was told would win him over well my father is dead now. In the thirty years they were married he never was won over to become a witness, he did however get into a drug abuse program to help with his drinking and the abuse stopped. This included all us girls marrying abusive men and our brothers being abusive to their wives. My now ex was a jw husband who gradually worked his way up to getting very violent. I tried to get help from the elders but they only repremanded me and told me I needed to try and dress more sexy in the bedroom.
I was told this after I told them of his having a girlfriend. I was so devastated by the lack of help and the blame that seem to be put on me that I actually thought of ending my life. Thank goodness I called a hotline for abused women everything they said made sense even though it went against my JW upbringing. In my heart I knew they were telling me what I had been feeling in my heart all along that it was a dangerous situation. I was so desperate for help I left with my child and was homeless I divorced my husband.
I did not need two witnesses to prove he was cheating; the bills I got were proff enough. I eventually got remarried to a wonderful JW brother who along with me decided to leave the JW when our children were young.
Domestic Abuse Experience in Feb Watchtower - JWsurvey
We are still very happy and in love with each other and life and have a very close family bond with all our adult kids. My wish is that young women who are JW need to find out who they are as an adults first before they marry instead of thinking every jw male is always going to be a good nice husband who will love and protect them.
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Even JW have abusive men among their ranks but they will never admit to this. In the end our mom was going to divorce but the old man died a blessing to be sure. Shame on all those elders who used our mother on stage to recount the abuse and how she was faithful to keep other women and their children in abusive situations. My dad did not stop beating her because she was faithful he stopped beating her because he got into a treatment program for drug abuse. What training and real schooling do the JW brothers have on domestic violence none.
These stories of abusive men turning around are rare, are women willing to sacrafice their children like my mom did, can one live with the guilt of seeing how horrible their childrens lives will turn out. My mother let others think for her on things that had nothing to do with the bible This was about abuse plain and simple. In the midst of all this crazyness several of us kids were sexually abused back then by more then one jw and that is another issue kids in abusive violent homes are easy prey in the KH for molesters because they can spot easy targets a mile away.
I understand both sides.
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Side 1 says: Be kind and compassionate. We are all imperfect. Side 2 says: No second chances. No mistakes. Risk is always too great. Get out now and stay out. My sister was married to an abusive husband 20 years. She is now divorced for 10 years. That is just handing a man an excuse to not change. And, it is cruel for the woman.
Both took it VERY seriously.
The police were willing to go to his place of work and pick him up. And yet, the elders did nothing. In fact, they forced a face-to-face meeting and tried to force me to go back to my husband, even though he had threatened my life. Looking back, I wish I had pressed charges. At the time, I was so weak, it was all I could do to just dig in my heels and not be bullied into putting my life in danger. Months later, my ex-husband was interviewed before the entire audience at a circuit assembly. He was paraded before them all as an example of a being a faithful single parent.
I was absolutely floored and my first reaction was to take the elders to task over this disgusting situation… then I thought about it and realized that I was safe now, and I just walked away, for good. The WT treatment of women is going to catch up to them at some point in the near future. Entire families are broken apart, with members having no emotional, spiritual or financial support from their relatives or former friends. The Mormons and Scientology religions also practice the same methods of controlling their members. No one is permitted any questioning or doubts regarding any of the myriads of manmade doctrines.